What has life Coaching got to do with drawn carriages?
It is obvious that 'Life coaching' is a composite word; life and coaching. Zoe
is a Greek word meaning among other things ‘life’, in English. Life, itself, is an existential term that describes the capacity of animate beings to function, grow, develop, reproduce, interact with their environments and respond to change prior to death.
The word coach, on the other hand, started gaining prominence around the 1500’s showing up in different languages like the French ‘coche’ and the German ‘kotsche.’ According to Oxford English Dictionary, (1989) the Hungarian ‘kocsi’ which translates to ‘carriage of Kocs’ is said to have been the origin of that word and that it was derived from the name of the village that produced carriages in Hungary. From these various roots of the words, ‘life’ and ‘coach’, a couple of things appear self-evident. These various renditions of this word ‘coach’ may not hold much meaning to non-native speakers of these languages until we draw in the Greek ‘proponitis’ which literally means trainer or instructor in English. When taken collectively, a number of things fall into place.
First, the word ‘carriage’ from Hungary is designed to convey a container that carries things and/or people. Second every carriage travels in a given direction to deliver its content. Third, carriages require some kind of force to pull or push it in the direction it should go. Horses and other kinds of animals are often used for this purpose. Fourth, both the carriage, its contents and the animal pulling or pushing it requires intentional guidance. I will refer to this intentional guide as the instructor, trainer or coach, who must be familiar with the destination and the means to guide the carriage to its destination to deliver its contents.
With the above picture in mind, we can appreciate the merging of these two different but integrated concepts of life and coaching. To contextualise this phrase ‘life coaching,’ that is often used in the helping profession, we can then understand it as a process of guiding or working with people on how to get to their desired predetermined destinations (goals) using tried and tested platforms in the form of strategies, models, methods and tools.
Missing Link In Life Coaching
For the purpose of illustration only, think of a carriage as an individual loaded with gifts and talents but requires a bit of help and guidance to get to its destination and unleash the treasures within it. From professional and personal experience, I have seen and worked with many individuals whose missing link is not the gift, talent, drive or goal setting but purpose. Purpose is the knowledge of, and an intentional pursuit of a given goal. It does not only link life and coaching together, it creates direction for both the coach and the coachee (individual being coached). It is the skill of helping people become a better version of themselves.
A life without a purpose, is like a ship on the high sea without a compass and a navigational wheel. The definition of frustration is being the captain of this ship that has motion but no real movement and hoping that it will take you to a predetermined destination called ‘success.’ I have encountered a good number of well-meaning people who live their lives without purpose and are enthusiastic in their hope for successful outcomes in their endeavours. A purpose driven life measured in mini goal achievements creates a measurable advancement in life pursuits as well as a sense of accomplishments. It may, however, sound paradoxical to say that having a purpose is not enough to achieve the success you need in the different areas of your life. The reason for the preceding statement is because some people have a purpose, they know that purpose but do not know how to accomplish it. Having a purpose is a good place to be but that purpose must be worked on for it is to be realised.
Choosing Life Coaches
Those who work with people helping them to achieve their goals of becoming who they wish to become in life are referred to as life coaches. They work from both experiential perspectives and trainings. They are therefore in a position to impact transferable skills to those they coach. Like football coaches, who having played football themselves in their younger years, understand the game and having trained as coaches, know how to manage players and bring out the best in them. Football coaches understand how to pull out the gifts of footballers to make them better and impact the skills the footballers need to become better versions of themselves. Similarly, your life experiences, talents, desires and motivations are the raw materials great life coaches work with to empower you to get to where you want to be.
To choose a life coach, therefore, it is important that the pedigree of the coach matches where you want to go. You will need to know what life experiences they have had and what training they have acquired to help you get to where you wish to be.
When Do You Need A Coach?
You need a coach anything you find yourself:
• Creating motion but no real movement. When you are always busy but cannot see any tangible results or achievements from your efforts.
• Making other people wealthy but getting poorer
• Doing good things but not the right things
• Making too many excuses for your lack of achievements
• Being indecisive on your job, business, relationships, etc. You cannot change anything in your life that you tolerate because you lack the courage to confront it. If you hesitate on what is right, you are unlikely to do it.
• Prioritising the needs of others and lacking the time to execute your own needs
• Being comfortable as an average person
• Fearful of your future
• Feeling overwhelmed and not knowing where to start
• Having a big change in your life that you need to work through.
Last Line
As 2021, winds down, it is our opportunity to reflect on what the year has been for each of us. It is a perfect time to see areas where we have sabotaged ourselves by the decisions we took or did not take this year and decide how 2022 would go for us. What would you permit in 2022? What would you ‘will’ into existence and what would you wish to do in 2022 that you have been putting off for the past two years? In the wordings of the James Kelly’s 1721 Scottish proverbs, ‘if wishes were horses, beggars would ride’, it is time to quit the lane of wishes and take the necessary decisions now to make 2022 a better year than 2021. Next year, must begin with intentional purpose and actions. Behind every great leader is a capable coach. Every great athlete has a great coach. Find a coach for yourself and soar like an eagle in the new year. See you on the other side of 2021.
Dr Chuma Osuchukwu is a former diplomat, leadership consultant, lifecoach, author, educator and businessman. He is the CEO of Apex Leadership Consult, one of UK’s leading coaching and mentoring organisations. He has published extensively and one of his widely acclaimed book is entitled ‘The Learning Leader and the 5 Perspectives of Change Leadership’ (2nd Edition). You can contact him at: Drchuma@apexleadershipcentre.co.uk